Over flowing

My heart is full this morning and I am not sure why. Maybe it is because I am hurting down my spine and into my hips and have sense yesterday. I am grateful that I can feel. And I do not mean just physically. It has been a while but I am still so grateful that I can feel things. And if it was not for pain I would not know the joy of pleasure. Thank you Eve. First of all I want to thank my Father in Heaven for the color of dirt. Yes I know you must all think I have gone crazy again, but go look at it. It amazes me! Something that we all think is so plain but if you take a moment and really look at it, it is amazingly beautiful. The color of green and what it can do. The warmth of my husband's hands and the soft hair on his arms. (Sorry Eric but I love these things) The feel of the hair on Rufus' head and the gentle warmth of his breathe on my arm as I type this. I am thankful for the color of my two son's eyes and that they look so much like their Dad's but they have their own color at the same time. I am thankful for my crazy mind and how it works. That I can cry at the sight of two dead birds on my porch and the first thought into my head is that one died from slamming into the window (very sure about that one, geross!) and that from the look of the other one that it was it's mate and didn't want to leave the other one so it died as well. It looked like it was waiting for it to get up. Which in turn makes me grateful that I come from a long line of eternal marriages. For the love my parents still have for each other and that after 40 years of marriage they still hold hands and I know that on Saturday nights they are most likely going out to eat or to a movie with each other even thou the house is empty. For a grandmother that had a locket with my grandfather's picture in it even thou she had remarried two times and for the strong feeling I get that she is with him now. For another set of grandparents (I love how they are called a set because they are) who lived for each other and when one died, the other tried but just could not go on without him. I know how she feels. I am grateful that I have a husband that thanks me for being his wife even thou it was my face that told him I think about killing his children. How does a person continue to come home to a face like that and tell them that they are beautiful and that they love them? I know how far Eric will go for me. Because he is still here with me. I feel a little ashamed each time he tells me thank you for being his wife because of the things I have put him through. How does he look at me with that much love in his eyes when it is the face that hurt him so much? How could I not be grateful and unable to repay him for sticking by me and somehow knowing it was not me? I still have the same face and voice, do I not? What does he see that I do not? I am grateful for two healthy boys. I see so many children who were not born healthy and I thank my Father in Heaven for not thinking I am strong enough for that. I know that my Father know ME. Because he gave me boys that give me what I need to go on. One that eats like he doesn't even taste the food and it makes me want to cry with joy to see that. Another who is telling me that this is the best food he has ever tasted even thou he has had that same meal several times. I am grateful for the sound of the phone ringing and my heart telling me it is my mother when I have had a hard day and just needed to hear her voice. Grateful that my Father in Heaven made it possible for Eric to find a job that is on my father's way. Knowing that he passes by me twice a day and I only need to be there when he passes to get what I need. I am grateful for the joy in my heart to be able to scare the people of Huntington with my screams and cry of joy for Chavonne and her baby girls. (I did not control myself Chavonne and now my cat looks at me funny) And for the urge to cry with Wendy (even thou she will not admit it) on Ty's first day of school. And to feel the yearning for another baby with Amy even thou she is SO far from me (no mother I do not want another baby, I only know how it feels) and the feeling quickens every time I think about her. I do not know how else to say it except that I am grateful for the ability to feel. Eric tells me that that is one of the reasons he loves me. My ability to feel so much for others and that that is what sometimes gets me into trouble. But I am glad that I feel so much. That when I see someone in pain, I feel it in my chest and it hurts me too. I am grateful for a Savior who feels that for me. I am amazed to think of how a messed up, sinful, imperfect person like me can feel the pain of someone I don't know so strongly. Then what does Christ feel when I am in pain? Someone who knows me better than I know myself. It makes me wonder why he thinks I am worth it and does he know just how grateful I am that he does anyway. Will I ever be able to thank him enough or show enough gratitude for what he has done for me? I hope to never stop trying. And for now I must stop because I can barely see the computer screen for the tears and I have to go get something to keep the birds from hitting my windows (can't take another dead couple on my porch) and get food for the vacuum and the critic (who thinks my cooking is delicious!). Now none of you can ever say I have not told you how I feel. :)

School Days! School Days!

I feel I must get something off my chest. Today something happened that I am not sure I can handle without the support of all of you. My kids went back to school today. :0 What to do with my self? (te he he!) With all of them gone most of the day and me here at home to listen to the quiet of this house. What a wonderful noise!!!! OK. I was not here the whole time. I volunteer at the school in the morning. I get to play with Pre-schoolers from about 8 until 10 and then I get to go to the library until noon. I get to wear my beaded glasses necklace. You know the ones that you see librarians wear to hold their glasses while they are not on their faces. I bought a pair when I was in Colorado. They are nice ones. Very excited about that! I checked books out to some one today and gave about 6 other new kids their library cards. I am helping open the world of books to kids. Maybe one of them will find a book in this library that will inspire them to go to college and get an amazing education in something that will one day solve one of the worlds most horrible problems. Like curing cancer or the common cold or ending world hunger or fingering out how to not get the hangers at the stores all hooked on everything around it. And all of that could happen because one lady who now has all this time to volunteer her time and loveliness to the wonderful children of the world so that they feel like they can walk proudly into a library and ask for a library card that will open the world to them and open their little minds until they fix this world. Yes, I am a very humble person and I feel that if it was not for me, these children just might be lost and confused. No, Eric being the Superintend is not going to have the effect on them as me being in the library or Pre-School room but it just might help. I mean if it was not for Eric getting this job, I would not have been brought here to help these children. Just like my job at the gym, right? Well for now we will just have to wait it out and see just how my being here makes their lives SSOOOO much better. I will let you all know as this year progress and the lives of the lucky children that have the bright light of my Angieness to shine on them. Aren't you just excited and a little jealous of these children? I know I am.

I was sitting and checking my email and something caught my eye. It was Teri and the twins walking in front of the house. (Teri is the momma deer and her twin fawns, Candy and Dandy) That made me remember that I had promised all of you the pictures I took during that last rain storm we had. The thunder and lightening were right together. Scared me a little bit. In the first picture to the left you don't really see the rain too much but the one just below with Teri and the twins you can see it a little bit. That is why the picture looks a little blurry. The pictures after that are of all of them together. Teri and her two and Sally and Tippy, her little one. Hey, if I named my plants why would I not name the deer?

This one is the result of D'Kota holding the umbrella and me having my finger ready on the button. FUN!!!!!!

Just for fun

I say just for fun we all look back at the pictures of where my family and I USE to live and then look at the pictures of where we live now? OK? And later we will all discuss it. Deal? OK! Let's all met here tomorrow and say what we feel or our thoughts. See ya tomorrow. O wait! Tomorrow is Friday! I was informed this morning that today is Thursday, not Wednesday. This stay at home Mom thing I am still getting use to. I do not have a calendar in front of me now so some how I must figure out what day it is all by my little lonesome. Any ideas?

One of these days I will remember to add the pictures backwards so you see them in the order that I took them. This is the BACK of my house. Eric and I's bathroom. You can see the library in this picture, it is to the left. And the soaker tub that Dylan insists is an indoor pool. And the view outside our bedroom onto the back patio. Yes that is a Hot tub to your right.

Here we see in the picture to our right, Dylan's room and the fact that the boy has moved right in and made a mess of it. The picture below is the hall way. The first door on our right is Dylan's room, next door is D'Kota's room (I did not take pics in there, there is a sleeping bear in there. It looks just like Dylan's room only clean. OK, I just lied there.) Next door is the linen closet and then the door to the masters' bedroom (me) and then the door into the boys' bathroom.

The boys' bathroom with the door to the left leading into the mud or laundry room. The laundry room has a closet and a door that leads outside to the side deck.

Down below is the hall way from the kitchen and to the right is the view from the front door into the house. Living room to the right and kitchen to the left.

View from in front of the fireplace to the front porch, yes those are ceiling fans on the porch and look at Todd! He is SO happy there. And look! You can see my kitchen table over in the corner!!

Here is my living room. Eric had to have his flat screen above the fireplace. I agree it does look really nice there. That door is a closet and the other door leads out side to the other side deck over looking trees and the town. The computer to the right where it should be, in the living room.

And my kitchen. Complete with a dishwasher and cupboards to fill with all the things I have. Even a junk drawer!!! What you don't see is the island in the middle of the kitchen. (I didn't want to make you all cry)

The view of the front of my house. With the almost complete wrap around porch and the garage with a game room and two little bedrooms out there as well as a half bath. Perfect for teaching Seminary in. And if you look close, you will see the cute little black trailer that we just bought! The guy who owns it just doesn't know we bought it yet. He will get his check here pretty quickly tho so don't tell him OK? And that is all for now. I will post the pictures of the deer just outside my front door and the lightening from the other day. But for now, I must go sit on my front porch and smell the rain. It is SO amazing up here!